Tallstar Advertises Swimming Classes
Another Tallstar Advertises! The next in the series, succeeding Tallstar Advertizes 2!, by BC. I made the first, Tallstar Advertises Flavoristic Foods. Enjoy the lastest enstallment of the series! _________________________________________________________________ Announcer: Welcome to Tallsta- Tallstar: *punches* SHADDAP. Announcer: But you hired me to be an annnoun- Tallstar: *claws* GET OUT!! Announcer: *cries and leaves* Tallstar: Aaaaanway. Here's Taaaaaaaallstaaaaaaaaar! And I'll be advertising -- Swimming classes! Mudclaw: Oh great. What do I throw this ''time? *sees a pool noodle* *throws* Tallstar: My swimming cla- *pool noodle hits his face* WAT THE DARK FOREST!?!? Mudclaw: Oops, was that me? Cats in audience: *laugh* *flames grow behind Tallstar* Tallstar: SHUT UP AND LET ME ADVERTISE THE DANG SWIMMING CLASSES!!! Cats in audience: *laughing dies down, with only one voice heard* *all turn to see who's still laughing* Hollykit (NP): BAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOLOLOL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! Oakheart: What the...? Swiftpaw: Er... What in Silverpelt...? Ferncloud: HOLLYKIT, SHUT YOUR *bleep*ING JAWS, SIT THE *bleep* DOWN, AND SHUT THE *bleep* UP. Hollykit: D8 *runs out crying* Tallstar: And for swearing in front of all those kits - *gestures to a bunch of kits* - you're being kicked out! Larchkit: *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* Tallstar: SECURITY! *Crowfeather and Ashfoot tackle Ferncloud* Hollyleaf: O___o' Tallstar: Anyway- *Crowfeather and Ashfoot are dragging Ferncloud in the background*- swimming classes are easy as--- Jayfeather: PIE. :3 Tallstar: Oh boy what flavor? :D Jayfeather: PIE FLAVOR. *holds up pie with another pie flying out of it in slow motion while an epic guitar plays in bg* Tallstar: *is not amused* SECURITY! *Russetfur and Rowanclaw walk toward Jayfeather* Jayfeather: YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE *runs into a wall* *Rowanclaw and Russetfur drag Jayfeather to crazy-person den* Jayfeather: *hissing and spitting* Tallstar: NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS! *small voice*: Tallstar, can I go to the bathroom? Tallstar: *sees that it's Mosskit* NO Mosskit: But I- Tallstar: *claws* Bluestar: *punches Tall and takes Moss back to the den* Tallstar: Now then! As I was saying, my swimming classes will be easy to learn! All you have to do is follow my easy steps on how to do them! Mudclaw: Get on with it! Tallstar: *shoves pool nodle down Mudclaw's throat* Mudclaw: T____T *goes to Kestrelwing* Tallstar: OH NOES, ALMOST COMMERCIA- Now for convienent commercial break! Starring BC. BC: Is your mate and or kit incredibly stupid? Daisy: *staring at Spiderleg and Berrynose* Yeah... BC: Can they say the alphabet A through K? Daisy: No. BC: Then get - *jingle starts* Jingle lyrics: ''If your kin, Are very dumb, Get ABC Kitty to make them smart! BC: ABC Kitty will be sure to make your retarded non-educated relatives will learn the entire alphabet, A-K! Daisy: AWESOME! I want to see them using the ABC Kitty! *looks at camera like a paid commercial actress* BC: *puts ABC Kitty in front of Spiderleg and Berrynose* Spiderleg: WHAT KIND OF TWOLEG CONTRAPTION IS THIS!? Berrynose: Ooooooh, pretty button... *presses 'On' switch* ABC Kitty: *plays loud dubstep that reaches the mountains* A, B, C, FREAKING D, E--- HOURS LATOR :D Spiderleg: *dead* Berrynose: *curled up on ground, moaning with his ears bleeding* BC: Did I mention it's PERFECTLY SAFE FOR THE KITS? *'Perfectly safe for the kits' flashes yellow on the screen* Daisy: NUUUUUU!! BERRY WERRY!! BC: Order now! BACK TO TALLSTAR Tallstar: -L BREAK! Ohwait. AND WE'RE BACK! *is facing away from the camera* Ashfur #1: Camera's behind you. Ashfur #2: HEY! NAME STEALER! Ashfur #1: I'm older than you, TC Ashfur! Ashfur #2: *runs away* Tallstar: SHADDAP BOTH ASHFURS! *turns to camera* And we're baaaack! Featherwhisker: We ''so ''didn't know that! Mudclaw: *throws a fruitable at Tallstar* Tallstar: *eats fruitable* Continuing! My classes are simple, but long! *Swiftpaw, Redtail, Tigerstar, Tigerheart, Russetfur, and Rowanclaw leave* Tallstar: TO THE MOONPOOL! At the Moonpool Tallstar: Well, here we are! Oakheart: Surely we StarClan wouldn't swim in the Moon- Tallstar: SILENCE! Unless you'd like a beating from the living Ashfoot and Crowfeather. Oakheart: =__= Brambleberry: Wouldn't RiverClan cats ''know ''how to swim? Tallstar: Nooooo! *All RiverClan cats leave* Tallstar: NOW GET IN THE POOL. *throws all in Moonpool* Hollyleaf: GAH! TALLSTAR, YOU IDIOT! *all leap at Tallstar as a curtain closes* Tallstar: ALL SWIMMING CLASSES WILL BE AT SUNHIGH EVERY WEEK IN GREENLEAF-- MY EYES! STOP IT GOLDENFLOWER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! New announcer: That was Tallstar Advertises Swimming Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasses! Category:Spoof Category:Eevee's Spoofs Category:Tallstar Advertises